June 30, 2013-
I can’t believe we didn’t talk for a month! Holy Jesus, that is too long to be away from your messages! We talked today, you caught up and we are now officially back together. I missed you. I’m so glad you replied.
July 12, 2013-
I told you about him today. Although we’ve been seeing each other for a couple weeks this felt like the best time to tell you how things have been going. You weren’t in the right mindset before, although I suppose I’m sending you right back, aren’t I? You told me we can still be friends. You told me that you wish you hadn’t replied.
August 22, 2013-
My boyfriend got upset at me today because I still have a photo album on my phone of only you. I haven’t made one for him yet. I yelled at you again, just like I used to. I’m sorry. Old habits die hard, I guess. I wish I hadn’t given you anything to reply to.
September 13, 2013-
I had another panic attack today. The ones that I always had in the winter, when I wouldn’t get out of my bed. I messaged you many times. I don’t know what was going on, but you never replied.
October 31, 2013-
We talked today briefly before you took your brother Trick-or-Treating. I remember that you said last year you wear a different costume every year with emphasis, but you sent me a picture of you in the same mask this year. I wish you had never replied.
November 18, 2013-
Well, you’ve kept true to tradition. Your streak for not talking to me AT ALL on my birthday weekend has gotten up to three years now, and it makes me upset. You never even tell me happy birthday. It is my sweet-sixteen today, and I will be headed to my great-grandmas funeral within the next thirty minutes. Don’t you dare reply.
December 26, 2013-
I spent today with his parents. You messaged me, excited you got a laptop. I messaged you excited that I got a family. After those words you never replied. I’m sorry.
January 3, 2014-
I’ve spent the past two nights with him to bring in the new year. We’ve made love both nights, and I keep wondering if you would make me feel better. You always did before… I didn’t message you today because I know you well enough to know you’re hungover. I wont give you a chance to reply.
February 15, 2014-
It’s 3 am and I miss you. Sometimes I think about how we met. I asked you about your family today and you told me you have a girlfriend who is 4 months pregnant. I swear to God, I felt my heart fall through the skin in my toes and get smeared into to carpet. I told you I was happy for you. You told me I was just an experiment and you never loved me. I went back on being 5 months clean from cutting, and tried to gash my wrists. Happy Valentine’s Day, please don’t expect any more replies.
March 31, 2014-
I tried to talk to you today. The anniversary of the day you saved my life is coming up soon. Do you remember? It was the 8th of April, two years ago. You probably don’t recall, since you said I was a waste of your time anyways. You told me none of our relationship was real. We were together for over a year. You. Broke. Me. You never replied.
April 8, 2014-
I think you blocked me from sending you messages because you knew I’d try to chat today. You’re making me feel the same way that I felt today, two years ago. I wish I were dead. Please reply…
April 28, 2014-
I saw in the news today what you did… I also saw that you read my messages on that messaging app that we used to use. I know you remember now, that yesterday was our anniversary for our relationship. The one that was an experiment to you. I wonder if you’re wishing you had, but you never replied today
Her eyes blink a few times, disorientedly.
The waves of last night wash up behind her closed eyes.
She smiles slightly, and feels his strong arms wind around her chest.
“Good morning, baby.” he murmurs.
“Mmm…” she pulls his arms tighter around her.
His stomach, pressed softly into her back,
the embrace was everything they had waited for.
His plane ride had been long, and he was tired,
but still gave her the best night of her life.
The thought that maybe they should go out and do something
crossed both their minds, but neither of them could break
the embrace that fused their warm bodies together in bed.
Neither of them could break the greatest feeling they knew;
The feeling of home.
Anonymous said: He said "I wanna kiss your skin, not your scars" thinking it would help. That phrase plays on repeat in my mind and kills me inside each time.
for once i want the girl in the action movie to be the one that’s like “okay stay here, hold this gun, don’t move” and i want the guy to be like “what the fuck do i do, oh my god is this a gun, don’t leave me alone with this! how do i shoot weapon?”